May I introduce
you to The Devil’s Dictionary? It’s a
delightful collection of witty definitions compiled by Ambrose Bierce between
1881 and 1906. It was first published in 1906 as The Cynic’s Word Book, since the then publishers baulked at the
reference to man’s Chief Adversary.
Here’s a sample
of some of Bierce’s whacky descriptions:
A Funeral, he says, is ‘a pageant whereby
we assist our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen
our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.’
Abrupt means: ‘Sudden,
without ceremony, like the arrival of a cannon-shot and the departure of a
soldier whose interests are most affected by it.’
Plunder is ‘to take the
property of another without observing the decent and customary reticences of
theft’.
How `bout some
definitions appropriate for our Indian context? I’ve come up with a few.
Indian men:
Alpha males, all of them…in their dreams. That’s why it’s so hard for them to
accept rejection: which woman would not want God’s gift…?
Government servants:
That peculiar class of officials who believe that public service begins with
service to self and, preferably, ends the same way.
Road Rage:
the most common method of settling disputes arising from accidents and other
mishaps on the road, requiring nothing more than fists and stones. Lessens the
burden of the Traffic Police since the aggressors don’t and the victims can’t
press charges.
You can get a
free copy of The Devil’s Dictionary
as an ebook from Gutenberg Press.
